"that special thing"

So I'm back....'cause my roommate had another thing with her boyfriend and it seems like they have some serious problems....but she keeps saying something about how she's talked to married couples and they say they "don't have that thing that her and [her boyfriend] have". I can't help but think of our friendship and how I used to think that all the time. I used to excuse all the shit that I took from you almost all the time...because I thought to myself "damn....I'm so lucky I would never have something like this again. Even as her friend, I would never have another friend like that again." I'm trying to think if that's the right mentality or not? Is it worth putting yourself through shit for those moments where you're just so content with your current situation that you can't think of anything else you'd want. I used to think that. I really did. I used to answer yes every time. Every time i ask myself, every time someone else asks me. Now, I don't even know what my answer is. I'm not sure if that's a sign that I'm slowly moving on, but I hope I don't ever get stuck in that rut again where I cling onto you 'cause I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I might still think that...and I might still think I'll never get someone that clicks with me like you did again. But, I'll be damned if I traded what I've gotten now (ever since you decided to desert me) for what I had when I was your friend. True to my word, I still love you and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. But I will never want you again.