I have not been in the greatest of moods lately, and the only thing that's picking up the mood every once in a while is the residual happiness from the last extended weekend. I think I'll revisit something that I think I posted about a while ago.
I am going to revisit the wikipedia article about love.
Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side-effects such as an increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.
This intrigues me....and sometimes scares me to a certain extent, because 1) that's not a very long time (1.5-3 years) and 2) I think that there's something scary about the what I would call "good side effects" of this love being controlled by our own brains. It's not the idealized image of someone being able to cause something to us. It's just that our brain and body chemistry reacts to certain people more than others, to the extent of releasing the "happiness" chemicals. I don't like the thought that what I feel is just chemicals going through my body. Then again, what did I expect? I like permanence, but I don't think it's possible to have that.
I think this next paragraph is supposed to assuage my worries?
Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding which promotes relationships that last for many years, and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin than short-term relationships have.
I'm glad that in the later, long-term stages, there are higher levels of these chemicals in our brain. I wonder....perhaps some time in the future--when people get crazy and paranoid enough, and society has come to near-ruin from relationship disloyalty and failed marriages--people will have some sort of test to determine how much of each necessary chemical is in the brain to determine true love before marriage. *shudders* However, in retrospect, if love is supposed to give you all those good feelings, then what do would they call the gap in-between? I don't mean a literal gap, I meant all the worries and such, like what I had in an earlier post. There were many, many worries. Also, in retrospect, I don't think these feelings are irreversible.
Then, psychologically, there is the Triangular theory of love that is--like wikipedia warned us at the top of the article--not to be confused with "love triangles". XDDDD I find that absolutely hilarious! Anyway, there are three levels that determine the level of this love that people have for one another. Each type is described below, and I think that it's very interesting to describe these in such ways. Supposedly "consummate love" is the "perfect couple" but heh....the great thing about this theory is that the psychologist that developed this theory stressed that it might be harder to maintain than it was to reach it. I think I have a quote that is one on my list of very few reasons why I still choose to express things
"Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die"
It has the potential to turn into "companionate love" where the passion/desire is gone. Heh, I think Stacy and I talked about these one time. She says it makes her sad to see those because you can tell that they were once probably really "in love" and then when they got to be as old as they are....it just died.
Alternatively, if you go back to the love article, there is something else that amuses me.
Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another", and simple narcissism. In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.
I'm glad that it's narcissism as well...and I'm glad that my arrogant ego can finally realize that now. I think it is true, though...that people tend to be attracted to people who are similar to them. I read the rest of the article, and I don't think there is anything else I want to talk about...but then....idk....this is hazy. For some reason, it is comforting yet not so at the same time.
I want an answer. I would like for everything to be clearly defined. However, I don't think that's possible sometimes.
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