....

so I wonder....why is it that there are people who has to mask care with hostility? why do the opposite to hide what really is? I know too many people like that

too many....and I'm just frustrated with them. there's no balance if the other person goes the other way...one person steps forward, one person steps back...one person assumes, the other one reacts to the assumption...nothing is said and all is lost in the unspoken words. Makes me angry...

ARGHH
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"The truth behind fighting...fighting continues forever. After you're defeated one person, someone stronger appears. If you manage to defeat him, then an even stronger person comes along. If you don't have the resolve to endure that eternal struggle, then eventually your confidence will erode. But it doesn't end there! The battle will continue elsewhere, fought by others. It's an endless cycle, and if doesn't end with a person's death! The cycle will continue."

So it's important to accept your situation, to accept your fate. I tell myself that, but have I really accepted it? Or am I still holding out for it to change? In that hope, am I just getting weaker? Am I letting my wounds get to me? Am I really accepting the fact that I will always have to continue fighting? Or am I getting tired of the fight and I've lost my resolve?

More importantly, why am I thinking about this late at night!?