Music is talking to me?

Well...not really...it's just my brain talking to myself through music. Alors...this is the last of my prolific chain of thoughts for this morning.

"Stop Me" by Mark Ronson is simply a horribly arranged, cacophony of sounds...just wanna state that...
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Haha…so stuck in a strange mix between Harry Potter and Backstreet Boys…I had an epiphany. Well….a realization…Who would understand me best? That’s what I found myself asking. Who would? A voice in the back of my head involuntarily gave out an answer, “Does it matter? You fool, the only person that you’ll be completely fascinated by, always care for, and all that good stuff, is the person that knows you best.” I know, I know….that’s an absurd ideal to work towards….and I know it’s certainly not true for everybody. It’s true for me, though. Let me elaborate. Someone who can understand the duality of my brain, the contradiction behind my ideologies and words, is someone who understands me...probably to a tee. So what? Quite a few people know what I’m like...does it matter? No. Understanding is different from knowing. To understand another's duality, you must also have a similar duality within yourself. It’s like understanding what a burn is. You know it's quite painful, you sympathize, but do you really comprehend the degree of pain to which they felt? I might not make sense right now, but I’m stating my thoughts anyway.

Wow…how bad of a fan am I? I didn’t even manage to remember that Harry’s mother’s Patronus was a doe….and Snape loved her, so his Patronus was a doe as well. I have no comment on that at the moment. My mind is still pondering over the matter of love. It’ll always ponder over the matter of love. Until I understand it, I won’t cease to question.

So I thought of this Chinese drama show thing that I was watching a few weeks ago out of boredom. Basically, dude had 7 wives. He claimed to love all of them equally, though in different ways. When he was asked who he loved most, he simply replied that he was happiest with one person, adored one the most, loved one the most, doted on one the most, etc…The person that actually held my attention--while I yawned through the rest--was the person he said he was happiest with. She was the person he trusted the most. It interested me because…I value trust. Whoever I trust most is the person that makes me happiest. In the drama, she was always the first person to follow him, to give advice, to listen. There was equal trust, because it put her in agony to be 1 of 7. It made me think...so does love mean trust also? I don’t know. To me, the more I search for what it is, the more I find myself tangled in so many different definitions of it. Anyway, the point is that it’s not enough for me to be able to trust someone…they have to trust me in return, maybe just as much…I won’t ask for more than that. I never ask anyone for more than what I give them. Hmm….

Well, now I just had a thought. If he was happiest with her, then what else did he seek in those other people? What did he mean by loving someone else more? How could the person he loved most not be the same as the person he was happiest with? I hope I’m not like that. Then again, I’ve found that some things I wish weren’t true about myself turn out to be things that make a majority of who I am.